Part 1. John Lewis
You know the one - the montage of irritating fuckers listening to music throughout the last fifty years. For those of you lucky enough to have missed this festering piece of fucking shit, here it is:
Everything about this advert gets up my fucking arsehole.
The white kid dancing with the black kid in the street. The cafe where it's smokey even though there's no-one smoking. The fat teacher with the shit-eating grin. The woman on the lilo listening to Sade.
Let me be clear:
FUCK SADE.
And then at the end - a couple of chavs listening to generic pop shite before trying to get off - all whilst their hairy, mannish mother lurks in the background.
John Lewis is one of the few chain stores where you can be fairly sure about the quality of their stock - but I hate this advert so much, I'm almost tempted to impose a permanent self-boycott. This pains me, for they sell decent rugby shirts and reasonably elegant furniture - but if I hear fucking #Smooth operator# one more time, I'm going to take my fat wallet elsewhere .
