Bag of shit website

Today's beef is with 'top ten' websites - you know the sort, cheap bags of shit covered with adverts for things to make you feel better about your pathetic life. Mostly drafted by drunk students or out-of-work journalists, they are one of the many festering turds the internet commonly deposits on our lives.

Some of them - though I'm buggered if I can remember which - are pretty funny. Some of them are like MSN.com, which lack anything in the way of originality or entertainment.
I came across one such site this morning called Mademan.com, which contained all the de rigueur shit, but one article in particular really got up my nose:

http://www.mademan.com/5-compliments-women-dont-hear-enough/

One particular piece of cunt-drool stands out:

"Compliments don’t come in short supply for most women. But, face it, quality compliments can be scarce. Maybe it’s the fragile male ego, or male insecurity that makes it so tough for many men to see women for what they really are, complex human beings with a lot to offer."


It's not that men are insecure or egotistic - we just don't care. 


Even if you can get over the "Oh no, my boyfriend doesn't compliment me enough!" [Boo-hoo you whining bitch. Go slurp on a quim if it bothers you that much; no-one's making you stay here and make the place look untidy] crap, the actual suggestions are even more stupid:


1. Their brains
2. Personal achievement
3. Her style
4. The way she takes care of you
5. Her parenting


I've dated a few women and I can say for certain that complimenting a woman on one or two will sound utterly patronising; number three will make you sound gay, number four makes you a lazy pussy and number five will make her think you want a divorce.


So, in one fell swoop we have gone from "shit site dispensing obvious advice" to "shit site dispensing bad advice". Though anyone stupid enough to believe the shit growing in this festering garden of intelligence-cancer probably deserves everything they get.

Why the left can go fuck itself

Regular readers of my blog - i.e. No one - will know that I can't stand left wingers, and this morning I saw something that went a long way to reinforce this belief:

Now, I actually find this quite funny - the slogan is pithy and, for a cartoon, the girl is hot enough to bang one out over. It does however make some assumptions that, in addition to being plain wrong, are also exceedingly arrogant.

The first is that there's some massive government conspiracy against the people. (Believe me, there really isn't. If you need further proof, take a look at the people in charge and ask yourself, honestly, if you think they're capable of coordinating a cross-generational international conspiracy.)

Second, that the public - especially right wingers - are either evil or dupes. It's like no-one can look at the arguments and come to the objective conclusion that right is "better" than left. No - if you choose to disagree with the tenets of socialism, you are to be pitied.

The final point I wish to challenge is the assumption that people aren't happy being controlled. Most people want to live their lives in peace and comfort. As long as there's gas in the tank and food in the fridge the rest of the world can go fuck itself - because humans are ultimately selfish, thoughtless beings. Is that wrong? Well that depends very much on your perspective - it's certainly not mine, but then not everyone is the same.

Now, I'm off to spank the monkey over that typist.

King of the bullshit munchers

I love watching geeks ranting at eachother about the relevance and value of their shitty internet start-up, having failed to grasp the fundamental point:

A product or service is only worth what people are willing to pay for it, fucker.

How is Facebook valued at billions of dollars? If it disappeared tomorrow, would anyone give a shit by Christmas Day? Not fucking likely. Would the world suffer if Twitter were to disappear up its own anus? Pah.

There are three essential jobs - farmer, builder and water-carrier. Everything else is just a different shade of bullshit.
End of story.

Recruitment agencies are cunt-havens

I've had my fill of fucking recruitment agents today.

Most of them are too fucking retarded to do real jobs, but somehow still successfully manage to fuck my life about.

FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU RIGHT IN THE EAR.

Perfect porn?

So, I figured out a while ago that surely the perfect porn for straight men would feature:

One Woman
One Transexual

That was you get all the pleasure of hetro intercourse/blowjobs/ass-fucking with the thrill of lesbianism.

This could well be what I do with the rest of my life.

Darwinism at its best

So, I'm something of a fan of natural selection. In a world where sentiment is driving society to preserve its least productive members, it's refreshing to hear the ways in which stupid people cut themselves out of the gene pool *.

I don't know whether these two dumb bitches ever made it to the finals of the Darwin awards, but surely they're regional contenders:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-12447319

Let me make this clear: ANYONE THAT'S STUPID ENOUGH TO JUMP A LOCKED LEVEL-CROSSING GETS EVERYTHING THEY FUCKING DESERVE.

Seriously, if this had been one of my kids I would not have the cheek to try and prosecute the rail company. I'm objective enough to know that it's not the job of a private firm to protect my kids from their own fucking brainlessness - furthermore, I'd be too embarrassed to admit that I bought up a child with nothing in their head but shit.

(* FTR, I'm not some sort of nazi - genocide is not only beyond moral reprehension, it's also a great way of cutting down genetic diversity and therefore counter-productive to the human race. Just one more reason why Hitler was a fucking douche)

If privacy is for paedos, then transparency is for voyeurs

In the grand scheme of things, there isn't much that ranks below a tabloid journalist - aside perhaps from a tabloid editor. Paul McMullan surely rates as one of the prize cunts of the newspaper age, a fact compounded by his appearance yesterday at the Leveson enquiry.


There is coverage enough on what he said and did - my beef is with the specific point that privacy only ever seems to apply to those matters of which we are ashamed. To an extent, I think he has a point - but what I can't fathom is what right he thinks the public has in knowing the ins and outs of someone's affairs.




What this prick and his associates have done is to give the public what they want - an exceedingly idiotic manoeuvre given the public are invariably fickle, judgemental, hypocritical and stupid - under false pretences. This wasn't altruism, it was a cynical ploy to prize cash from its readers in exchange for salacious gossip. It's fuckers like McMullan that give capitalism a worse name than it deserves.


Even if it were genuine, this hypothetical example shows why the 'public interest' debate is weak:


Politician A is a successful minister who's reigned in spending and improved his department's efficiency. Out of the office he's been having an affair with a neighbour, which is subsequently leaked to hacks. Society's (entirely hypocritical) view on the virtues of monogamy may well cost him his job - no matter how well he excels at it. No crime has been committed, no-one hurt outside of the immediate parties - yet the man, and potentially the country, will suffer as a result. And it doesn't have to be an affair - just something that makes the public go "Hmm. I didn't think he was like that."  (And if you think 'being gay' is above that, think again.)


We're not talking about law breaking - that's handled in the court thank goodness - but someone's right to go about their business without dealing with society's judgement.


McMullan went on to say "in 21 years of invading people's privacy I've never found anybody doing any good". One might reasonably argue that, given the News of the Screws wasn't falling over itself to reveal its phone tapping activities, he speaks the absolute truth. 


We live in an age where everyone seems desperate to spill the ins and outs of their affairs - not only is it  improper, it's dangerous. Even if you trust the government (which many, for good reason, don't) there are domestic and foreign criminals able to exploit your details, your hobbies and your tastes. Claiming that nothing should be off-limits is an invitation to... well, something awful.


McMullan and his kind are nasty little voyeurs - and the public should pull its collective head out of its collective ass and kick 'em into touch.